My Dirty Little Secret

I have a confession.

I may seem outgoing—the kind of person who effortlessly strikes up conversations, breezes through networking events, and thrives in social settings. I know how to fill silence, how to keep a conversation going.

But the truth? I’m a natural introvert. Every bit of that gregariousness is a muscle I’ve built over time. And sometimes it still gets fatigued.

My mom, on the other hand, is the definition of extrovert. She thrives on meeting new people, effortlessly making hours of conversation, and hosting large, bustling parties. One of my earliest memories—around age six—is my mom chastising me for looking at my feet when she introduced me to a group of adults.

So, needless to say, I learned how to “walk the walk.”

But left to my own devices, I’m happiest curled up in the corner of my couch with my dog and a book. I enjoy going out with friends, but I have a two-hour expiration. After that, I need a good long stretch of time alone - preferably sleep - to recover. While my daughter inherited the extrovert gene from both of her grandmothers, my husband and I are perfectly content to sit in companionable silence.

I have another confession.

Just over two years ago, when I moved to my new town, I was invited to a networking event. Starting my third business, I ditched the sweatpants, swiped on some lipstick, and got ready to make connections.

I walked in, did a lap, and walked right out. Completely overwhelmed.

It was loud. People were in tight-knit groups. I didn’t even know who the organizer was.

After years of building relationships, I felt self-doubt creeping in. But I quickly shook it off and reminded myself: It wasn’t me. It was the wrong setting.

And it inspired me to create my own group—on my own terms—to network in a way that fosters genuine connections and actually helps build businesses.

Why am I sharing this?

Because right now, I have a handful of clients who don’t believe they can do what they’re setting out to do. The conversations aren’t flowing. Networking feels awkward. People aren’t following up, and they’re taking it personally.

They look at me and assume, “It’s easy for her.”

But it’s not.

I’ve spent years building my networking muscles—none of this is innate. TBH, some days, I’d still rather chew glass than walk into a room full of strangers, give a speech, or appear on a podcast (I’ve got two coming up—watch my stories for dates!). But pushing through that discomfort keeps me moving toward my bigger goals—and that makes it worth it.

Which brings me back to you.

If you’re doubting your ability to reach your business goals—if imposter syndrome is creeping in (which, by the way, up to 75% of women experience)—hear me when I say this: Yes. You. Can.

It may not feel effortless at first. But if you keep working those muscles, I guarantee it gets easier over time.

I take a weekly dance class with an instructor who says this at least three times during every brutal cardio sequence.

And he’s right.

Just because something doesn’t come naturally now doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes. You have to push. You have to believe in what you’re doing and what you have to offer. You have to let rejection roll off your back.

It’s not a reflection of your worth—it’s just not the right fit.

Keep moving.

Caveat: Illegitimi Non Carborundum (Don’t Let the Bastards Get You Down)

When you put yourself out there, people will notice. Some will love you. Some won’t.

And that’s okay.

Not everyone likes me and that’s inevitable. If you try to be “for everyone,” you end up being for no one. The right people will find you. The rest? They don’t matter. Thank you, next.

I’m not big on manifestation, but mindset is critical. If you tell yourself you can’t, you won’t. If you believe you can, you’ll take the microsteps necessary to make it happen.

Success or stagnation? The difference is persistence.

So yes, I used “My Dirty Little Secret” as clickbait—sorry about that.

But while you’re here, I want you to understand something: you’re not seeing the full picture.

Everyone has limitations. Everyone struggles. But the ones who succeed?

They’re the ones who refuse to stop.

Keep going. Yes, you can.